I will no longer be updating this blog. I will be starting another, ANONYMOUS, blog soon. I hope to have the new one up and running soon. Still trying to pick out a name that isn't taken.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog and that you 'stumble' upon my new page. Why am I going through all of this trouble? I have decided that an anonymous blog should have bent he way to go from the beginning, as I do not want to edit my posts due to the fear of retribution. Not towards me, mind you, but towards my little guy. Even if the offender is unconsciously punishing him, he shouldn't have to suffer for his momma's bitchiness.
We have experienced a small victory. Spence has agreed to wear boxer shorts around the house. Not boxer briefs, boxer shorts. Not plaid, solid. Not woven, knit. Yes, he did make us exhaust all of these options before he made his decision. At least now when he runs outside, he has underwear on. Thank God for small favors.
Unfortunately, one victory is all we have. I've seen him slip down the mountain of achievement into a valley I thought we passed up long ago. It has recently come to my attention that the teacher or para or someone at the school has been giving my son items to stim on. NOOOOOOOOO! I broke him of this habit, only to now have someone encouraging it. I also had a beef with the teacher's request to send Spence to school with "a game boy or iPod or old iPhone that he can play with when he finishes his work." Say what? I was glad my husband was at that meeting. I was too stunned to come up with a response. He mentioned that Spencer would be obsessed and it would be hard to take it away from him when the time was up, so it is better to just keep it from him in the first place. Then we were told that he keeps trying to get the para's phone. Here's a thought- maybe the para should secure her phone? I don't think we had this problem at any of his old schools.
But, when would Spencer play it? Seems he doesn't like to do his work, or attend to any lessons, or use the restroom at school. Part of me thinks this is his way of saying that he doesn't like it there. Or maybe that is just me projecting my feelings. I do not get Spencer dressed until about 7:20. He has NEVER given me this much trouble on a daily basis. I had gotten him to the point that I would lay his clothes out and he would dress himself. Now, I have to chase him around the house and almost tackle him and FORCE the clothes on him. Needless to say, my mornings suck. Add in a 12 year old who keeps asking for "5 more minutes" and I feel like a human snooze button and all around tyrant. Yippee! I'm emotionally exhausted before my day even starts. Then laundry, cleaning and cooking call my name and before I know it, it is time to pick the kids up from school. Really, where does the day go? Okay, so I do take a daily nap. I have given up caffeine (after my one iced coffee in the morning) and am finding it difficult to stay awake all day. But, since Spence will steal your Diet Coke, I have given them up. I miss my contraband!!!
I hope soon to get back to reporting the "feel good" victories that are most certainly going to come our way!!!
Normally, I would apologize for not writing in the blog for over a month, but I'm not going to this time. There is so much I want to write about, but I feel like my hands are tied. I've grown way too politically correct for my own good. I normally publish my blog to my Facebook page and let interested parties read at their leisure. Unfortunately, my FB circle of friends is growing ever wider and I have become so afraid of offending certain people that I just say nothing. Then, I start acting like a petulant three year old and think, "Well, it is my blog and I should be able to relate my thoughts and feelings without worrying. The things that happen, happen and I would be remiss to sugar coat it to suit someone else's way of thinking."
The I realize the solution would have been so easy. I read other autism blogs: Homestyle Momma (with a side of autism), Grape jelly on pizza, Ancora Impartial..and others. What they all have in common (besides autism) is that they are anonymous. Granted, they sometimes use first names for their kids, but never give their precise location, etc. I'm sure a few friends close to them know who they are, but the whole world doesn't. Perhaps I should have named mine, "mommy's hiding in the bathroom", or "a grande frap and a valium to go" or something else clever and witty. Seriously, the blog helps me deal with what is going on around me, a forum to share my experiences and a place where I can unabashedly praise my children. Certain things have been said to my recently that just beg to be addressed in a blog. But I can't without offending the person who made the statement. Seriously, how would you feel if an entire blog was a response that I wasn't comfortable giving you in person? And, you would most certainly know that YOU were the one who got me started on that tirade. I don't think you'd be flattered. What if someone you like so very much was the source of my ire. Would you share what I said to them? Yep, it would just be opening a can of worms that no one wants to deal with. Me included.
Maybe I've been too open and honest. But that is just my style. You always know what I'm thinking, because I tell you. Also, there are some things that I'm dealing with and working on that are hush-hush at the moment. And I'm afraid I'll spill the beans and thwart my own efforts.
Update on the school debacle. Seems the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. I sent (per their request) Spencer's IEP and psych evaluation to the Special Ed Department at Jefferson Parish School System on December 21, the day before Christmas break. I went to the school Spencer would be attending to pick up a registration packet. They told me to call the school system before bringing the paperwork to them to make sure they would have room for him. Tried to get in touch with school system to no avail. Finally, I got through to Terri on January 10 (the day AFTER school started) I informed her of the ENTIRE situation. We spoke again on the 11th, 13th, and 18th (schools were closed on the 17th). During the conversation on the 18th, she says, "You still have the registration paperwork? The school should have accepted it even if they didn't have any room." I'm thinking how would I know, because you've never given me a straight answer. Then she says what finally set me off. "Who have you been speaking to at Special Ed." It was with great pleasure that I responded through clenched teeth, "You, I have been talking to you since the 10th of January." She had no response, but to say she would call the school and call me back.
When she calls back, she states that we are to take the registration packet to the school and proceed from there. I was so far beyond angry, it could only be described as completely enraged. I was physically shaking and unable to tell my husband, what had happened. I kept screaming, "You, I've been talk to you! AHHHHHHH!" He tells me that he will bring the registration packet to the school. When asked why, he stated, "because I'm afraid of what you'll do. I don't think you'll be able to remain calm." Yep, you are right about that. I used up all of my calm on December 21, 22 and January 10, 11, 13, and 18. I've run out of calm.
My husband goes to the school on the 19th around 10am. He returns a little after 10:40 with the following information:
Spencer will start school on Jan 20
He will school uniforms, backpack, lunch bag, etc.
This only makes me madder. I went through and paved the way, he just waltzes in and everything is smoothed over and taken care of.
Today is the second day that public schools are in session here. Spencer is still home. I left a message on Friday, the 6th with the special ed department even though they were closed. I then called back at 10:30 yesterday morning and left another message. I didn't really think that they would have his placement, but I wanted to talk to a human being. I needed to know that they received the IEP and psychological evaluation (from Georgia) that I faxed to them on December 21 (the day before they closed for the holiday period). I was starting to panic. Where do I turn? You're right if you answered: Facebook.
My husband often makes fun of my social networking, but it has become an incredibly useful tool for me. I wouldn't have found Brain Balance if not for Facebook. I wouldn't have gotten help in Georgia, had I not turned to my FB friends. And they came through for me again yesterday. After posting about the trouble I was having, a friend (who I haven't seen or talked to in almost 20 years) gets me a name and a contact number. (Many thanks, Robin J.!!) I talked to a person!! She not only had Spencer's most recent IEP form Georgia, she apprised me of the current situation. So, I feel better. My district school does not have space for him in the first grade autistic class (teacher to student ratio is limited to 1:2). So, a teacher needs to be assigned to the school, or he needs to attend another school in the vicinity. I really hate red tape.
On another note, I got an invoice from the apartment in Georgia. They are refunding me my deposit. Say what? I was expecting to have to pay. Spencer grab a slat of the blind and pull it toward him to look outside. Since they were cheap metal blinds, they bent when he did this. ALL of my blinds were horribly bent due to him doing this. I'm not complaining, but they are not charging me for them. They charged me when I moved from one apartment to another because he bent one set before we could switch blinds. I'll take it.
That's it. Laundry is calling. Will blog again soon. I'm trying to do better this year!!
For a while now we have been dealing with Spencer's unwillingness to wear clothes around the house. JUST around the house. He is fine when we are out in public and when he is at school (thank goodness!), so I know that it is not a sensory issue. I'm pretty sure he does it just to drive me insane. We have tried trying to make him wear just his undies, but as soon as you get them on him, he pulls them off. We've tried tying wearing clothes to getting to play. You get the toy if you put on your underwear. He puts on his underwear until he gets the toy. Once he has the toy, you guessed it, he drops trough. At this point, I have run out of ideas. He doesn't do this ANYWHERE else!!! (Okay, Tammy, you were the one exception!!) Just at home (or wherever 'home' may be). I will tell him that he will get to keep the toy if he keeps his underwear on. He isn't buying that one.
I have noticed an increase in his flexibility. You should see the stuff he can do with an exercise ball! He is ready for a spot with the Cirque du Soleil. Unfortunately, he likes to howl like a wolf (which Peyton used to pronounce as woof) while doing his various acrobatics. You have to laugh. Thus, he has earned a new nickname- the nekkid werewoof.
I've had a few people criticize me for not being 'serious' enough. (I thank them for not doing this publicly) I have to face adversity with a laugh. I've done the crying, stressing, denial and depression thing. It just made my eyes red, my anxiety increase, my kid's special needs and my family neglected. I'd rather have laugh lines than frown lines. Trust me, this attitude is a much healthier one for the whole family, but Spencer in particular. I stand behind everything I've done and said. People are more willing to listen (and learn) when you temper it with humor. I'd like to think that I have not only entertained you, but taught you something as well. Dang, we're getting deep here- time to lighten it back up!!
I'm ready for Spencer to go back to school, so we can establish some kind of routine. He has had a very long time off since Fayette County got off of school on December 15 and Jefferson Parish doesn't go back to school until January 9. I think he is ready, as well. He loves school. We will be doing some videos soon (fully clothed, ind you!) to update everyone on his progress!
"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully." - Max Eastman