Where does the time go?

Well, I couldn't locate a babysitter Tuesday, so Spence stayed with a friend and her sitter watched him.  It wasn't until later that I realized that I have NEVER done that.  He made himself at home and hung out with her children.  He didn't go to sleep; I'm wondering if he thought I was leaving him with them.   I can only guess.  We had a great time at dinner.  It was nice to be surrounded by people going through the same 'war'.  It's funny how people are quick to dismiss any ideas we have about what caused our child's autism.  It is human nature to speculate.  Not that it matters how.  All I know is that my child was not born with autism.  He had autism thrust upon him by whatever caused it.  So you look everywhere.  (and anywhere- including at yourself)  What should we have known?  And its funny.  Just today, I posted a seemingly innocent picture on Facebook.  All I said was that parents need to be informed.  BEFORE you get any immunizations, go to the CDC website and familiarize yourself with the ingredients and side effects.  Then decide for yourself whether you want your child vaccinated.  Knowledge is power and parents need to take back the power.  That's really all I'm saying on that topic.
On a lighter and much happier note, we are going to meet up with the other boys in Gatlinburg for a family vacation.  Hopefully, Mommy will get a chance to head to the spa (hint, hint, honey ;).
It is going to be very interesting to see the difference in Spencer's behavior on this trip.  I just love seeing the changes in him!
Still have a ton of laundry to do and a ton of cooking before heading out tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a safe and fun fourth of July!!

That's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it (uh-huh, uh-huh)

For all of you young-uns, that was a song from the 70's.  One of my favorites, much to my mother's dismay.  Yesterday, I had Spencer's 20 week progress report.  The goal of Pre-Brain Balance (the program that he is in) is to get him to Brain Balance levels.  We are sooo close in some things.  His fine motor is already at Brain Balance level 2. (awesome!!) Brain Balance works!  I wish everyone would be a little more open minded when it comes to our kids.  The research  is out there to support what we are doing.  Funny that people are so quick to use therapies that are 50 years old when it comes to neurological disorders, but there is not a person in the world who would want a surgeon to use a 50 year old technique when operating on them.  Think about it.
Anyway, little man got ANOTHER star yesterday from the cognitive room for following directions.  I'm noticing it at home as well.  It was so cute that he will put things away when I ask him to, or bring me items he has pulled out.  He has been babbling A LOT.  This is fantastic.  I feel that he will be talking before we are done here.  It seems to be right around the corner.  Wow!  It is so amazing to see the changes in him and the other Brain Balance children.  I've seen so much progress in my little boy.  And the best thing is, this is lasting progress!
Here are some photos from Disney.  For some reason, I was not able to upload them when I last tried.

This is the toy Spence HAD to have; the one he signed "Mommy, please" for.  Just what we needed, a bunch of little green men!

Spence sitting on his brother's lap at the Disney Junior stage show.  He loved it.  He danced, laughed and clapped!!

Now I have to see about securing a babysitter for tonight.  A bunch of Brain Balance moms are getting together for dinner to say goodbye to one who is leaving us.  :(

The stars are shining

Not in the sky, silly, on the walls of Brain Balance.  When the children do something really good, they get a star with their name on it and a brief description of what they did to earn the star.  The child gets to stick it to the wall wherever they want.  Why am I telling you this?  Because of the tumultuous last few sessions, I was incredibly shocked when Spencer emerged Wednesday with not one, but TWO stars.  He got one from the Sensory Motor room and one from  the Cognitive room.  Both were for following directions, listening and doing all of his work without complaints.  So, he earned the chance to go swimming that afternoon.  Too bad Mother Nature was not as impressed as I was with the two stars, because it STORMED.
Unfortunately, we couldn't go swimming on Thursday either because we had to wait for the furniture rental company to come pick up the furniture.  Since I will be here until next May, I found it would be a lot cheaper to buy some inexpensive furniture than to rent monthly.  I only wish that they could have come while Spencer was at ESY.  He got extremely excited while they were here, and he was very confused.  I think he thought that we were moving.  He followed me around like a puppy, afraid to have me out of his sight for even a second.  Then, during the night, he crawled into bed with me,  He hasn't done that in a while, so I figured maybe he thought I would leave him in the middle of the night.  Of course, all I can do is guess, because he can't let me know what is going on in his head.  Very frustrating for us both.
Friday, I bought a golf cart.  Now, we are ready.  I picked up the cart while Spencer was in Brain Balance, taking him completely by surprise!  Before I get to that, I need to rehash Friday.  My parents came into town.  They chose to leave Thursday, so they would be here all day Friday and Saturday before departing on Sunday afternoon.  Spencer was confused by the fact that they were over in the morning (I suspect he thought it was Saturday). Then, his Brain Balance session was changed from 1:30 to 12:00 noon. He does not handle multiple changes well.  So, when he got to Brain Balance, he was fit to be tied.  He was behaving horribly.  He did mange to do all of his work, so that was an improvement over Monday.  I forgot to mention we went to Target Friday morning to purchase some inexpensive furniture for the apartment.  Spencer found the aisle with the Goldfish crackers.  Uh oh.  He brought me a box and I had to calmly explain that he couldn't have them.  He didn't understand and threw a fit, rolling all over the floor at Target and getting very upset.  When I left the area, he followed.  He was still upset and started throwing his "Cars" sheets on the floor over and over.  I let him because he needed to get it out.  There was a lady shooting me horrid looks when I told Spence he couldn't have the crackers.  I was tempted to tell her something, but her ignorance is not my problem.  My focus was on my child.  I've gotten better with ignoring people.  If I can, I do calmly explain the situation.  For some, that may be their first hands-on experience with an autistic child.  But, when I am in the middle of trying to diffuse a volatile situation, the educational needs of others come second.  I must say that even his tantrum wasn't as bad as I have seen.  There was no self-injurious behavior.  He did not try to attack me (or my parents).  He did find a sofa and threw himself on it a couple of times.  I think he was waiting for me to tell him to stop, but I was not going to give him attention.  Sure enough, it stopped.  Anyway, my poor dad spent the whole day putting together the two dressers (it would have gone a lot faster if I could have helped him), going to Home Depot, and picking up lunch (Chinese- yummy!!).
Spencer got two golf cart rides.  The first was when I picked him up from Brain Balance.  At first, I saw him looking for my car.  He grabbed my hand and looked at me with the most confused expression on his face.  When I got into the cart, he snagged his spot.  It took us a long time to get back to the apartment, I had to take the VERY LONG way.  There was a large dog chained outside of a house on our original route.  When it saw us, it started barking and running to the end of the chain.  Spencer didn't know or realize that the dog couldn't get us.  He was terrified.  He jumped in my lap screaming, "dawdie, dawdie, dawdie"  (I am trying to spell it phoenetically- but it is pronounced like doggie but with a d sound instead of a g.)  HE WAS COMMUNICATING!!  Awesome.  So, we turned around and took the longer route home.
We saw a baby deer and a bunny rabbit on this first trip, so cool!  Then, later, to get him out of my dad's hair, we took another trip.  We found a playground and he played for a little while.  It was getting to the time that the bugs were coming out, so we hopped back in the cart.  This time, I got a picture of a deer in someone's back yard.  Spence was quiet and was actually looking at it.  Good Stuff!

This is our golf cart.  You can't really tell, but it is purple.  I call it the "purple people eater" or "grape ape".  Yes, I know I am weird.

The deer we saw the second time we took the cart out.  You can see the hammock off to the left hand side.  I think this is neat.

We took the cart to Kroger this morning and got to park in the "golf cart only" parking.  That still cracks me up that they have special spots all over town for golf carts.  He was so good, I bought him a Cars activity book with stickers, etc.  He loves going riding in the cart and he is so well behaved.  Here is my little shopper:

Going to go enjoy more of my weekend!!

It's been a while

Yikes, I kept meaning to post, but I didn't realize that so much time had past.  Quick update: I decided to go blonde, Spencer decided to revisit his nude exhibitionist impulses and we haven't been swimming since the pool reopened due to SOMEONE'S noncompliance at Brain Balance and at home.  (Like you'll even need more than one guess for that one!)
Okay, so there you go.  The quick and dirty update.  Yeah, right.  Like I would just let you off with a couple of sentences.  HaHa!
I'm not sure if Spencer is oblivious or if he just doesn't care what color my hair is (seems to be a Martin man family trait!) but when he left for school I was a brunette, when he came home, I was a blonde.  The only thing he noticed were that my bangs kept getting in my face.  It was adorable the way he would brush them to the side so he could see Mommy's eyes.
Let's look at the behavior.  His brain is changing.  This is a good thing.  However, his stubborn streak just extended itself to be a mile wide.  He so politely told one of the therapists "no" when she asked him to sit down to do his work.  That is good and bad.  Bad, because he didn't concede to authority and do his work. Good, because he is showing a little personality and expressing his wishes (with words, no less!) However, his noncompliance has gotten so out of control, that he has been losing privileges when he doesn't do his work.  Since his favorite activity is swimming, that is what he has been working toward.  Monday, he almost made it. But, with 10 minutes left to the end of the session, he decided that he was done. No swimming, no fun.  Can't reward the bad behavior, so we both are punished.
I have been trying to load some photos and videos but for some I reason I can't get it to work.  Maybe user error?

Welcome to my silly life

This weekend was interesting, to say the least.  Friday after Brain Balance, we joined another BB mom and her kids at their pool, since ours is closed (until further notice :( ).  Spence decided that he was going to jump to Mommy.  Make that- jump on Mommy.  I got a workout, too.  We stayed for about an hour and a half, after which time I was totally beat, as was Spence.  He laid down in his bed around 7:30.  He was asleep shortly thereafter.  I had planned for us to sleep late on Saturday and then go to the park in the afternoon.  Unfortunately, it stormed during the afternoon, so the park was not happening.  I also started feeling a little under the weather, but thought I was just tired.  I woke up Sunday with a sore throat, slight fever and INCREDIBLE headache.  Little man must have had sympathy pains because he actually took a nap with me around 3 or so.  A wonderful BB mom even offered to take Spence to the park with them so I could rest.  He was sleeping at the time, so I just let him be.  I must have dozed off around 7 or so.  I was awakened by Spencer brushing the hair out of my face.  Then I jumped up.  He had faux tanned himself with a brown Crayola marker.  All over.  Chest, legs, arms, back (who knew he was that limber?) feet (tops & bottoms), he even drew a mustache and some facial hair. I tried not to laugh, really.  But it was so darn funny and he was so proud of himself.  I should have taken a picture but my first concern was to clean him up.  He was laughing so hard in the tub.  Thank goodness it was a washable marker, so it came off with minimal scrubbing.  After he was all cleaned up, I sent him to bed. And he went.  I could hear him singing (I think he was singing).  He dozed off around 8:30 or so.  He woke up in a fantastic mood for school today.  I am feeling better.  Nothing a decongestant and a few Aleve can't cure.  Now I have to go finish cleaning the apartment.  Fun, fun!!

The sadistic moms of Brain Balance

Really- you would think we were crazy, cruel and unfit mothers if you saw our reactions.
My kid got hurt and cried- YES!
Child is bawling because Dad and Pey are leaving- BIG smile on Mommy's face.
When told to do something, he does it, BUT is mumbling something under his breath- Mommy is clapping (on the inside, of course!)

You get the point.  First of all we are not crazy, or cruel, or unfit mothers.  We are watching a process that parents of neurotypical children take for granted.  We used to refer to Spence as a tough cookie.  But, we were wrong.  He didn't ignore the pain, he didn't FEEL the pain.  The neural receptors in his brain never processed the feelings of pain.  So, when he stubbed his toe hard against the door, sat on the floor grabbing the injured toe and crying a little- it was a milestone.  A neural pathway to the pain receptors in his brain has been formed.  Yep- pretty cool. One victory down, a million more to go.

Crying because Daddy and Pey are leaving.  Awesome.  It means that he has formed a bond with them, understands that they are going and not coming right back, and that he will MISS them when they are gone.  You tend to take familial relationships for granted.  Spence loves them, but prior to Brain Balance, they could leave for days and he would be okay with it.  This morning he went in search of his brother and Dad (they left yesterday afternoon.) Another several neural pathways that didn't exist before are responsible for these emotions and changes.

Okay, anger is a right brain emotion.  That is the side of the brain that is underdeveloped in Spencer.  The left side of his brain is probably operating at least at the level of his biological age- 6.  However, the right side of his brain is somewhere in the neighborhood of a three year old.  Force a NT (neurotypical) 6 year old to play with a NT 3 year old.  All the time.  There will be conflicts due to the difference in age.  That is how my son's brain tries to operate.  Sometimes things get lost in translation because the two sides of his brain aren't able to effectively communicate. But, we are working on that.  No ESY (extended school year) today- so we are finishing up breakfast and getting ready for our busy day.  Exercises, Brain Balance, Jump 2 it (maybe) and then swimming (maybe- if the weather holds out!) Gotta work that body to work that brain!

Taking a vacation- from blogging

Okay, I have let a lot of time pass since my last blog.  Not that great things aren't happening every day, but my routine has been disrupted.  (Yeah, I probably could use Brain Balance myself.)  Anyway, my boys showed up early- Saturday instead of Sunday.  Spencer was SO happy to see them. We tried to go to the park on Sunday, but it was just too hot.  It has been a chore trying to get Spencer to go to sleep.  He is okay with sleeping in his room by himself, he just stays up til all hours.  And to top things off, he started ESY (extended school year) on Monday.  Thank goodness the bus doesn't pick him up until 8:15, but it has taken me over an hour to wake the child on both Monday and Tuesday.
Monday- Spencer had no problem catching the bus in a different place, with a different driver, a different aide, a different school, a different teacher.  Then he went to Brain Balance where he earned a trophy.  Stars are good, trophies (paper ones that the kids stick to the wall) are better.  He put the alphabet in order and spelled his name- out loud.  The 'r' was very clear.
Tuesday- After school, we took a family trip into Atlanta to visit the World of Coca-Cola and the aquarium.  Spence was not really into any part of the WOC- except the part where they showed commercials.  He liked the tasting room, but much to my surprise, he didn't try to drink all that much.  At  the aquarium, he loved the penguins.  Only if they kept their distance.  It was funny to see him back up when they came close tot he glass.  He would giggle and jump up and down. it was precious.  He was asleep by 9, which is a huge improvement over the past couple of days.
Today, he has school and Brain Balance, so we will probably go swimming this afternoon.  That is one advantage of having the apartment pool pretty much in my backyard.

Peyton got another Star Wars Lego set while in Disney. He brought it here for me to see.  Spencer was actually playing with it appropriately.  Then Peyton lamented that they didn't buy Spence any Legos while in Legoland.  So, off to Target on Sunday.  We picked out a couple of small Cars Lego sets.  Peyton put them together for Spencer.  It was cute watching Spencer reenacting some of the scenes from the movie.  Since he didn't have a Lego Mater, he used his regular one.  Peyton was such a big help around the apartment and with Spencer that I gave him $5 for helping out.  He asked me if we could go back to Target on Tuesday while Spencer was in school.  I asked what he wanted to buy.  He wanted to use the money he earned to buy Spencer the Lego Mater set (5.99 plus tax) Of course I fronted him the extra.  I was touched that he wanted to spend his money making his brother happy.  We must be doing something right!

And on that note, I'll leave you until next time...

Fabutastic!

That is my word to describe this year's vacation to Disney/Orlando.  But, in order for you to appreciate where we are now, you need to know where we've been. Here are the 'lowlights' from last year's vacation:

• Spencer did not want to leave the room.  Ever.  It was an ordeal to get him dressed and out the door.
• He was fixated on wearing swim diapers, which don't hold much.  He would have several accidents while wearing them.
• Spencer would tire out easily.  If we didn't rent a stroller, he would try to sit in other children's strollers.  He was too big for a single, so we had to rent a double stroller. (which he was still a little too big for.)
• He didn't want to leave my side.  (That is how we got him to leave the room.  Choose Mommy or the room.) I couldn't even take a shower or go to the bathroom without him following me.  If I managed to make a break, he would cry and beat on the door.  At Disney, this was worse.  The one time I managed to sneak out to use the restroom, he bolted out of the restaurant and was halfway down the 'street' before Peyton caught up with him.  
• Spencer didn't want to leave the stroller. He even ate in the stroller, refusing to join us at the table.
• Had to physically force him out of the stroller to ride ANY rides.
• Spencer melted down several times every day.

THIS YEAR  (highlights!)

• Spencer would bring us his clothes when he noticed we were getting ready.
• He wore a combo regular pullup under his underwear.  He had a few accidents in the pullup, but none that required a change of clothes!  He even went to the bathroom at Disney.  At the resort, he pretty consistently used the bathroom independently.
• We did not rent a stroller.  Spencer did not try to steal one.  He walked all over Disney World and didn't make us carry him once!
• He not only let me go to the bathroom by myself, he even went with Peyton & Les several times.
• He did NOT bolt ONCE.
• Spencer rode several rides.  He even pulled us all to Mexico to ride the boat ride there.
• We had an 8 hour Disney day on Sunday.  Spencer behaved like a neurotypical child.
• Daddy took Spencer and Peyton swimming at the resort Saturday and Sunday evening so Mommy could get some much needed R&R.

My favorite quotes from vacation came from Peyton.

to Spence: " I love you so much."

to me: "Gigi, Spence wants to play with me!"

There are so many more wonderful things that happened on vacation, but I think you get the idea.  When I dig out my camera cables, I'll have to post some photos.